I’ve been loudly complaining to anyone who will listen (i.e. my husband, the baby and the dog) that I don’t understand all these mothers who claim they don’t have time to take a shower. Even Tina Fey says something like that in her book and she not only had a husband working from home to help her, she had a NANNY. A nanny!

I’m very proud that I shower, get dressed and put make-up on every single day. After feeding baby in the morning, I usually drag the vibrating baby chair into the bathroom and baby is usually pretty content to sit and vibrate until I am showered and dressed and ready to make my breakfast.

But this morning I am starting to understand.

Baby woke us (ME) crying at 5:15a.m. I changed him and fed him and he spat up a lot, nonchalantly smiling as I wiped off my shoulder, my chest, the chair, and his neck. He seemed cheerful enough and I was aching to go back into bed, so I swaddled him back up and crawled into my warm bed.

8:00am baby was crying again, though I know he probably didn’t sleep because I heard him grunting and babbling from across the hall as I lay in bed hopelessly awake. I got up and changed him and turned on his mobile. It worked, he was smiling. Here comes the dilemma: stall him and eat my own breakfast, stall him and shower, stall him and take the laundry out of the dryer? I opted for the laundry stall. By the time I got back up, baby was spent. He looked tired. But I knew he must be hungry. So I made a big bottle and sat down to feed him, thinking I’d feed him a solid amount and then proceed with my shower. But he fell asleep almost immediately. Ok, fine, I thought. If that’s what you need, fine. So I put him back in the crib all limp and warm and sleepy and ran down to deal with the laundry. And he started crying again in the middle of transferring a load into the dryer. So I finished that and ran back up to let him finish the bottle. And he drank a tiny bit and fell asleep again. Now he’s sort of half asleep, but surely hungry. And I’m starving and have laundry to finish and I can understand how easy it is to not shower right now and then complain I don’t have time to shower. Surely if I put him down he’ll cry. But, no. Goddammit, no. He’s going in the vibrating chair and I’m taking a shower.


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