I had my annual Pap smear last week but they called yesterday to say that the lab couldn’t use the sample and I needed to come back in. Just the procedure you want done twice in a week!
I brought baby, of course. Since I have no help, I bring baby everywhere I need to go on any given weekday.
The last few times I went to the doctor (2 week and 6 week postpartum visits and last week’s failed Pap), baby sat angelically in his car seat and didn’t make a peep.
He did that again today, for 40 minutes in the waiting room. The second we hit the examination room, he decided that he did not want to be trapped in his seat. He wanted freedom and he wanted it now. I took him out and held him while the nurse asked me my weight (ugh) and if I had gotten my period yet (no!).
But baby was not content to be held. He didn’t want to be held, he didn’t want to sit in his car seat, he didn’t want a pacifier, he had been fed within 2 hours, his diaper was fine….
She told me to undress from the waist down and left the room. She didn’t leave a robe.
So I suffered the indignity of waiting around for the midwife while holding a squirmy, fussy baby, completely naked from the waist down.
Then I suffered the indignity of another Pap smear while holding a squirmy, fussy baby on my stomach.
The midwife said I should tell him this story when he’s a teenager. I say, why wait?