Mother’s Day?

I don’t believe in Mother’s Day. I also don’t believe in Valentine’s Day or Father’s Day. I don’t believe in fake holidays invented by greeting card companies so they can make money and you can feel bad. Cards are a huge waste of money and paper.

I realize this makes me a weirdo, so I try not to brag about it and don’t mention it unless I’m specifically asked questions like, “what did you get your mother for Mother’s Day?” and “what did you do for Valentine’s?”

Why don’t I believe in “days”? Because you should show your lovers and mothers you love them EVERY day. And if your lovers and mothers don’t really deserve to be celebrated, like, if they beat you regularly, you shouldn’t be pressured to do so.

I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I have to celebrate Mother’s Day because my mother gets mad at me if I don’t. Thank goodness my father doesn’t believe in Father’s Day.

But my son is NOT OBLIGATED to do anything special for me on one day of the year. He should be loving and kind every day.

Can’t we all just do nice things for each other without buying useless, wasteful crap? If I want flowers in my house, I will buy myself flowers. I have a wallet and a car and a yard; I am very capable of obtaining things that I want. If I REALLY want flowers, I can plant them! I don’t need a cabinet full of vases from flower deliveries. And I don’t need a vase full of moldy flowers that I have to throw out.

I just want to be appreciated and loved every day.

I suppose this is going to pose a problem when baby is in preschool making gifts for every stupid “day” holiday. I guess I will try to bite my tongue and not be crazy bitch about it. Really though- how terrible is it to make little kids do Mother’s Day cards? What if they don’t have a mother? She’s in jail or she died or she beats them? But I still want to make sure my kid understands that “days” are bullshit.

I worry about this kind of conundrum more than I do about head control and college.

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